January 2010
138 posts
Microsoft is giving ONE MILLION DOLLARS to the person with the first tweet of 2010! PLS RT!!!!!1!!1
When did “hoodies” become the universally-accepted term for hooded sweatshirts? And why wasn’t I notified?
December 2009
194 posts
Wow. Whatever your feelings toward Reagan, this is a powerful note. http://j.mp/5LpQtg
Wouldn’t it be easier to list the celebrities who DIDN’T die in 2009? HEY-O!
Step 1: Friend buys ihatecraigjames.com Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!
A quick stop at the celebrity section of the fragrance counter, and I now smell like Carlos Santana. …ladies.
Ella, 6, and I are both sick. As we hacked and coughed, I said “Wow, we sound great.” Ella: “Yeah, we could kiss a million hippies.” Huh?
I just saw Michael W. Smith in a commercial for an energy drink. “Yo, before I rock ‘Friends Are Friends Forever’ I gotta AMP UP, YO!!!”
BOP IT! TWIST IT! PULL IT! “Sounds like my last date.” “DADDY!!!”
Anybody play Words with Friends? Hit me up, yo. shueytexas
I want to get married on 2/7/11. That way I’ll always remember where to go for anniversary gifts.
Watching my dad’s Christmas present with him: season 1 of “The Big Bang Theory.” Sheldon!
Idiots try something on a plane and things get banned. So I’m going to make threats while wearing a Bluetooth earpiece and Ed Hardy shirt.
Ever sit down at your computer, consider listening to iTunes or Pandora or Last.fm or Shoutcast and end up listening to nothing?
RT @sween: Saw “Jersey Shore” for the first time today. How did we become the dominant species on the planet? Do the other species just …
Wow. See ya, Christmas! On to the next mania! http://twitpic.com/vbr1j /via @KenPlume
RT @chrisbrogan: People who sigh heavily in public are silly.
24 ways: Working With RGBA Colour →
24 ways: Make Your Mockup in Markup →
WOW. Time Magazine has quite the typo on their Web site right now: http://yfrog.com/4i3nxij
HA! This exact thing happened to me and Ella. The Onion is so prescient — http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31371?utm_source=slate_rss_1
Snuggies aren’t made for those of us who are 6’6”.
Keurig coffeemaker, Apple Mighty Mouse, Onion calendar, down comforter, gift cards…but Ella was the big winner: “DADDY, I GOT A PUPPY!”
I’m a sucker for anything with a kid and adult voice-overs: A Christmas Story, Stand By Me, The Wonder Years, Showgirls…
The best present I have ever received or will ever receive. http://twitpic.com/v5qey
RT @mat: Merry Christmas; shitter’s full!
This is the magical time of the year when I replace all the Christmas music on my iPhone with the Pitchfork 100 so I can try to be cool.
Wooowww, whoopeee, a ZEPPELIN!
Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie!
Are fruitcake jokes still a thing?
RT @simontarr: NOTAFINGAH!
RT @wilw: You used up all the glue [lip tremble] ON PURPOSE! [furious dramatic pause] NOT A FINGER!
“A Christmas Story” is trending, marking the first time anything worthwhile has made the list.
Man, the first Mannheim Steamroller Christmas album is a stone cold classic. They shoulda stopped after that one.
OH HELLO THERE, sheet of solid ice where Interstate 27 once was!
RT @jmerriman: RT @santa_claus Ugh. I have to work tonight.
It’s just like Obama to jet off to a foreign country on America’s most important holiday. Wait, what?
“You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?!” George Bailey was hardcore, man.
Do I have a Christmas tree with lights in my back seat as I drive home? Maybe. http://twitpic.com/uzpuj
RT @ZackTeibloom: Q: Whats different between santa and tiger? A: Santa stops at three ho’s
Driving north. Passed a car heading south. It was covered in ice. That’s a good sign, right?
The bleak snowscape through which I’m driving. I should be delivering a tan Cutlass Ciera to Steve Buscemi. http://yfrog.com/1yl9cfj
Trying to decide if I’d have better luck with Susan Sarandon or Tim Robbins.
It’s amazing how you can be perceived as a “computer expert” by simply remembering that Google exists.
I am 53% addicted to Twitter http://su.pr/1b72Ly from the enchanting @oatmeal
It’s Christmas EVE, not Christmas STEVE.
PEACE, Kerrville! See you after Christmas.
All I want is what’s coming to me! All I want is my fair share!
Listening to a holiday gem from Loretta Lynn in which she vows to burn Santa Claus alive as he comes down the chimney. Such an angry woman.
It’s always a good idea to have a wingman at Christmas parties to monitor you for Nog Lip.