This morning I was going to joke that it would rain on my birthday. Well I’m standing outside getting rained on! I am become life!

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Some say President Obama stormed out of negotiations, others say no. I wish he’d moseyed. Or crabwalked. Or sashayed. Or galloped.

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Will someone please tell my immune system it’s not, in fact, under attack from harmful pathogens, but rather kindly mold spores and pollen?

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Guess who just fixed his own garbage disposal without having the first clue what he was doing? No, not that guy! Me! I meant me!

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Is there no end to Republican nuttiness? http://j.mp/qWRn66

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Okay, which one of you wise guys did this to my parking garage? http://twitpic.com/5olxet

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

RT @biorhythmist: Checkers, huh? Well, two can play at that game…

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Hey, my various devices do this to me too. http://t.co/n3S7k1X

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Oh how this made me laugh. Whole Foods Parking Lot: The Response. http://t.co/dcFMw9r

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Having opposable thumbs isn’t that great. GOD, they hate each other.

Text tagged as: twitter_com from_feed

Page1of278 next page ›